The Worst of British TV – 2011

You may remember that I ran you through my list of UK telly favourites from this year here on this very blog on Wednesday. Of course you remember. How could you forget? Now as the Digiguide Grouch Potato, I am, as my name suggests, somewhat of a grouch. Compiling that list and fawning over television programmes was quite tricky. And not just because I have chips for fingers. You see, good TV's good. But bad TV's better. Well, it's not of course. It's worse. But it's funnier. And by jingo there's been plenty of garbage spewing into our living rooms this year.

Here's my list of television's worst offenders of 2011. Offenders that should be locked up for life without parole, brutalised in the showers daily and hopefully shanked to death in the cafeteria after a squabble about mashed potato gets out of hand (metaphorically).

Enjoy the list. And if you've got any suggestions of your own that you'd like to have seen on the list, let us know.

The Worst

Life's Too Short was Ricky Gervais' big new show this year. For some years now, he's been slowly entering his own backside. Up until now we've laughed it off as irony or forgiven him because he's come up with the goods. But his Twitter nonsense, dreadful films, smarmy Curb Your Enthusiasm appearance and terrible new sitcom has changed all that. The tide has turned. He's disappeared entirely up his jacksy and is losing fans. And, barring a great turn from Liam Neeson in the first episode of Life's Too Short, it's easy to see why. Have a look here for a more in-depth analysis from me as to why his new BBC2 show is so ruddy bad.

Mrs. Brown's Boys was nominated for a BAFTA this year. The only explanation I can offer for this is a huge administrative error by the academy. It is truly, truly awful. A kind of awful you can scarcely believe. I swear I thought it was a spoof for the first ten minutes. If you can watch a full episode of this Irish sitcom without cringing so hard that one of your teeth fall out, you've done well. 'Comedian' Brendan O'Carroll dresses up like an old woman and swears a lot. That's basically it. There are tired, lazy stereotypes, jokes you'd be disappointed to hear Roy Walker come out with and a bizarrely unsettling saccharine streak running through it where people 'learn lessons' in the most contrived ways possible. And luckily for us it's been recommissioned! Oof.

Don't Scare the Hare must've been a tough sell to the Commissioning Editors at the Beeb. 'A game show presented by that bald speccy bloke Jason Bradbury from Channel Five's Gadget Show where people run around manically for no apparent reason doing stuff that we don't really explain. Narrated by that woman comedian named after long cigarettes, Sue Perkins. Oh, and there's a giant robot rabbit. For some reason. Sign here.' And somehow it was even worse than that sounds.

"Please kill me, Jason. It's the right thing to do. You can tell them I had Myxomatosis or something..."

Dishonourable Mentions

The X Factor fell apart this year. True, it was never sterling television, but millions love it and it certainly gets people talking. Simon Cowell's departure, three weak new judges, bullying, drugs scandals and dreadful talentless acts conspired to drag Syco's TV mammouth down further than anyone would've thought possible. And it got trounced by a stuttering 145 year-old Bruce Forsyth week in, week out. And that's not a good sign.

My Family. IT'S STILL ON. HOW?! WHY?!

That's Britain! It's dreadful!

Daybreak was ITV's great white morning hope. They paid 45 trillion quid to nick Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakley from The One Show for this GMTV replacement. They just forgot to make it watchable. So no on watched it. And then they sacked the hosts. None of the show's 30 regular viewers cared.

10 O' Clock Live should've been funny. It wasn't. It shouldn't have made me want to chuck my flatscreen out the window. It did.

My Big Fat Gypsy Weddings was exploitative rubbish at its worse. Rubber-necking awfulness that genuinely angered. I'm still fuming a wee bit.

"Ahaha! Looks at the stupid gypsies! Ahaha! They're different to us, aren't they?! Ahahahaha!" 

There we go. 2011. NOW LET'S NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN.