Two and a Half Men is a Sitcom programme that first aired in 2003 and has been classified a PG certificate.

Next Show Times

• United Kingdom

Seasons in Detail

• All Seasons
• Special Episodes
• Season 1
• Season 2
• Season 3
• Season 4
• Season 5
• Season 6
• Season 7
• Season 8
• Season 9
• Season 10
• Season 11
• Season 12

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Tags

comedy, 3 star

Two and a Half Men

Below is a list of all Episodes from all Seasons of Two and a Half Men

Special Episodes

• 1. Charlie's Wildest Moments
• 2. Best Guest Stars!
• 3. Charlie's Angels

See when Two and a Half Men, season -1 is coming up on UK TV

Season 1

• 1. Pilot
• 2. Big Flappy Bastards
• 3. Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
• 4. If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap
• 5. The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump
• 6. Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
• 7. If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
• 8. Twenty-five Little Pre-Pubers without a Snoot-ful
• 9. Phase One, Complete
• 10. Merry Thanksgiving
• 11. Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
• 12. Camel Filters and Pheromones
• 13. Sara Like Puny Alan
• 14. I Can't Afford Hyenas
• 15. Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
• 16. That was Saliva, Alan
• 17. Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
• 18. An Old Flame With a New Wick
• 19. I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
• 20. Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
• 21. No Sniffing, No Wowing
• 22. My Doctor has a Cow Puppet
• 23. Just Like Buffalo
• 24. Can You Feel My Finger?

See when Two and a Half Men, season 1 is coming up on UK TV

Season 2

• 1. Back Off Mary Poppins
• 2. Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
• 3. A Bag Full of Jawea
• 4. Go Get Mommy's Bra
• 4. Go Get Mummy's Bra
• 5. Bad News From the Clinic
• 6. The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
• 7. A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
• 8. Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
• 9. Yes, Monsignor
• 10. The Salmon Under My Sweater
• 11. Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
• 12. A Lungful of Alan
• 13. Zejdz z Moich Wlosów
• 13. Zejdz z Moich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)
• 14. Those Big pink things with Coconut
• 15. Smell the Umbrella Stand
• 16. Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?
• 17. Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!
• 18. It Was Mame, Mom
• 19. A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise
• 20. I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
• 21. A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
• 22. That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
• 23. Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
• 24. Does This Smell Funny to You?

See when Two and a Half Men, season 2 is coming up on UK TV

Season 3

• 1. Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
• 2. Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
• 3. Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
• 4. Your Dismissive Attitude Towards Boobs
• 5. We Called It Mr. Pinky
• 6. Hi, Mr. Horned One
• 7. Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
• 8. That Voodoo That I Do Do
• 9. Madame and Her Special Friend
• 10. Something Salted and Twisted
• 11. Santa's Village of the Damned
• 12. That Special Tug
• 13. Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
• 14. Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
• 15. My Tongue is Meat
• 16. Ergo, the Booty Call
• 17. The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
• 18. The Spit-Covered Cobbler
• 19. Golly Moses, She's A Muffin
• 20. Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
• 21. And the Plot Moistens
• 22. Just Once With Aunt Sophie
• 23. Arguments for the Quickie
• 24. That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

See when Two and a Half Men, season 3 is coming up on UK TV

Season 4

• 1. Working for Caligula
• 2. Who's Vod Kanockers
• 3. The Sea is a Harsh Mistress
• 4. A Pot Smoking Monkey
• 5. A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
• 6. Apologies for the Frivolity
• 7. Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
• 8. Release the Dogs
• 9. Corey's Been Dead For an Hour
• 10. Kissing Abraham Lincoln
• 11. Walnuts and Demerol
• 12. Castrating Sheep in Montana
• 13. Don't Worry, Speed Racer
• 14. That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
• 15. My Damn Stalker
• 16. Young People Have Phlegm Too
• 17. I Merely Slept With a Commie
• 18. It Never Rains in Hooterville
• 19. Smooth as a Ken Doll
• 20. Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
• 21. Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
• 22. Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
• 23. Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin
• 24. Prostitutes and Gelato

See when Two and a Half Men, season 4 is coming up on UK TV

Season 5

• 1. Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
• 2. Media Room Slash Dungeon
• 3. Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
• 4. City of Great Racks
• 5. Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
• 6. Help Daddy Find His Toenail
• 7. The Leather Gear is in the Guest Room
• 8. Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
• 9. Tight's Good
• 10. Kind'a Like Necrophilia
• 11. Meander to Your Dander
• 12. A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
• 13. The Soil is Moist
• 14. Winky-Dink Time
• 15. Rough Night in Hump Junction
• 16. Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
• 17. Fish in a Drawer
• 18. If My Hole Could Talk
• 19. Waiting for the Right Snapper

See when Two and a Half Men, season 5 is coming up on UK TV

Season 6

• 1. Taterhead Is Our Love Child
• 2. Pie Hole, Herb
• 3. Damn You, Eggs Benedict
• 4. The Flavin' and the Mavin
• 5. A Jock Strap in Hell
• 6. It's Always Nazi Week
• 7. Best H.O. Money Can Buy
• 8. Pinocchio's Mouth
• 9. The Mooch at the Boo
• 10. He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
• 11. The Devil's Lube
• 12. Thank God for Scoliosis
• 13. I Think You Offended Don
• 14. David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
• 15. I'd Like to Start With the Cat
• 16. She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime
• 16. She'll Still Be Dead at Half-time
• 17. The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
• 17. The Ocu or the Pado
• 18. My Son's Enormous Head
• 19. The Two Finger Rule
• 20. Hello, I'm Alan Cousteau
• 21. Above Exalted Cyclops
• 22. Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
• 23. Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
• 23. Good Morning Mrs Butterworth
• 24. Baseball Was Better With Steroids

See when Two and a Half Men, season 6 is coming up on UK TV

Season 7

• 1. 818-jklpuzo
• 2. Whipped Unto the Third Generation
• 3. Mmm, fish. Yum.
• 3. Mmm, Fish - Yum
• 4. Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
• 5. For the Sake of the Child
• 6. Give Me Your Thumb
• 7. Untainted by Filth
• 8. Gord. Fnark. Schmegle.
• 9. Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
• 10. That's Why They Call It Ball Room
• 11. Warning, It's Dirty
• 12. Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
• 13. Yay, No Polyps!
• 14. Crude and Uncalled For
• 15. Aye, Aye, Captain
• 16. Tinkle Like a Princess
• 17. I Found Your Moustache
• 18. Ixnay on the Oggie Day
• 19. Keith Moon is Vomiting in His Grave
• 20. I Called Him Magoo
• 20. I Call Him Magoo
• 21. Gumby with a Pokey
• 22. This is Not Gonna End Well

See when Two and a Half Men, season 7 is coming up on UK TV

Season 8

• 1. Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
• 2. A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
• 3. A Pudding-Filled Cactus
• 4. Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
• 5. The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
• 6. Twanging Your Magic Clanger
• 6. Twang Your Magic Clanger
• 7. The Crazy Bitch Gazette
• 8. Springtime On A Stick
• 9. A Good Time in Central Africa
• 10. Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
• 11. Dead From the Waist Down
• 12. Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
• 13. Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
• 14. Lookin' for Japanese Subs
• 15. Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
• 15. Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesiest
• 16. That Darn Priest

See when Two and a Half Men, season 8 is coming up on UK TV

Season 9

• 1. Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
• 2. People Who Love Peepholes
• 3. Big Girls Don't Throw Food
• 4. Nine Magic Fingers
• 5. A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
• 6. The Squat and the Hover
• 7. Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
• 8. Thank You For The Intercourse
• 9. Frodo’s Headshots
• 10. A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
• 11. What a Lovely Landing Strip
• 12. One False Move, Zimbabwe!
• 13. Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
• 14. A Possum on Chemo
• 15. The Duchess of Dull-In-Sack
• 16. Sips, Sonnets And Sodomy
• 17. Not In My Mouth
• 18. The War Against Gingivitis
• 19. Palmdale, Ech
• 20. Grandma's Pie
• 21. Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
• 22. Why We Gave Up Women
• 23. The Straw in My Donut Hole
• 23. The Straw in My Doughnut Hole
• 24. Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

See when Two and a Half Men, season 9 is coming up on UK TV

Season 10

• 1. I Changed My Mind About the Milk
• 2. A Big Bag of Dog
• 3. Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitten
• 4. You Do Know What The Lollipop Is For
• 5. That's Not What They Call It In Amsterdam
• 6. Ferrets, Attack!
• 7. Avoid the Chinese Mustard
• 8. Something My Gynecologist Said
• 9. I Scream When I Pee
• 10. One Nut Johnson
• 11. Give Santa a Tail-Hole
• 12. Welcome to Alancrest
• 13. Grab a Feather and Get in Line
• 14. Run, Steven Staven! Run!
• 14. Run, Steven Staven, Run!
• 15. Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
• 16. Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
• 17. Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
• 18. The 9:04 From Pemberton
• 18. The 9.04 from Pemberton
• 19. Big Episode. Someone Stole A Spoon
• 19. Someone Stole a Spoon
• 20. Bazinga! That's From A TV Show
• 21. Another Night With Neil Diamond
• 22. My Bodacious Vidalia
• 23. Cows, Prepare to be Tipped

See when Two and a Half Men, season 10 is coming up on UK TV

Season 11

• 1. Nangnangnangnang
• 2. I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
• 3. This Unblessed Biscuit
• 4. Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
• 5. Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
• 6. Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
• 7. Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
• 8. Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room
• 9. Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
• 10. On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
• 11. Tazed in the Lady Nuts
• 12. Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
• 13. Bite Me, Supreme Court
• 14. Three Fingers of Crème De Menthe
• 15. Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
• 16. How to Get Rid of Alan Harper II
• 16. How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
• 17. Welcome Home, Jake
• 18. West Side Story
• 19. Lan mao shi zai wuding shang
• 20. Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
• 21. Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
• 22. Oh, Wald-e, Good Times Ahead

See when Two and a Half Men, season 11 is coming up on UK TV

Season 12

• 1. The Ol' Mexican Spinach
• 2. A Chic Bar in Ibiza
• 3. Glamping in a Yurt
• 4. Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
• 5. Oontz Oontz Oontz
• 6. Alan Shot a Little Girl
• 7. Sex With an Animated Ed Asner
• 8. Family, Bublé, Deep-fried Turkey
• 9. Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
• 10. Here I Come, Pants!
• 11. For Whom the Booty Calls
• 12. A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
• 13. Boompa Loved His Hookers
• 14. Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
• 15. Of Course He's Dead (Part 1 of 2)
• 16. Of Course He's Dead (Part 2 of 2)

See when Two and a Half Men, season 12 is coming up on UK TV