Murdered By My Boyfriend - Review

BBC3 is not a channel I watch often, despite being a young person and part of the channel’s target demographic. And yet when I came upon Murdered By My Boyfriend, my interest was piqued. Added to the shock I had when I realised I hadn’t blogged since last month (sorry! World Cup fever took over), I realised I couldn’t exactly miss this drama. It turned out to be the right decision.

I was going to say spoilers ahead but I’m not sure it counts if the ending is so obviously stated in the title. So… err… read at your own discretion? Seriously though, there’s so much more at play here than the ending so I do recommend you catch up on iPlayer first.

Despite only airing for an hour, the drama, based on a true story, was nicely paced, giving proper time to Ashley and Reece meeting, dating, and even having a baby. And yet there are still warning signs, a feeling that something isn’t quite right with Reece early on. The little glances he gives Ashley’s friends for example, as if he’s already trying to figure out how to isolate her. And yet Ashley doesn’t notice because he hides it all under a charming exterior.

The first hit doesn’t happen until about fifteen minutes into the drama, with a build up lasting about 5 minutes. The argument doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things; what’s interesting is the way Reece reacts to the argument. It’s clear he has anger issues and Ashley is just pushing him to the point where he snaps and hits her. The relationship almost ends on a moment of impulsive anger but Ashley goes back to him, hoping that it is just a single incident.

It isn’t of course, and we skip three years later, to when the physical abuse becomes a regular thing, and the mental abuse has also kicked in. One of the first scenes post-time jump is a creepy little scene where Reece, through their daughter, tells Ashley he doesn’t like the dress she’s wearing. The comments about her weight come later on. It’s the little subtle things that shows how vulnerable Ashley is psychologically.

One of the best things Murdered by my Boyfriend did was convey to us just how trapped Ashley became. Whether it was talking to the police officers about a loud argument and wanting to admit to being a victim of domestic violence, or later on when her boyfriend harasses her after she wants to take a break. She can’t get away from him, despite the many times she calls the police or her friends, and so we reach the final scene with a sense of inevitability when she gives up and finally lets him in.

Incidentally it’s the final scene that is the most upsetting and the most poignant. The brutal way Reece murders Ashley is powerful, as the way he hits her with an ironing board is interspersed with the desperate cries of his daughter. I won’t lie, I was affected by that. That scene stayed with me all night.

Minor quibble (there had to be one somewhere), some of the music played at the club did not feel like club music. It’s more a problem with the direction than the story (which I would not criticise since it is based on a true story) but it did take me out of the scene at one point. If anyone was wondering, sadly the general club scenes dialogue and behaviour wise was realistic. I’m so sorry you’ve lost your faith in humanity now.

Overall, a very powerful interpretation of an important issue. A drama that isn’t afraid to show the grittiness and reality of domestic violence. And I’m very pleased that this was shown on BBC3. This programme obviously set out to educate young people about domestic violence and as far as I'm concerned, the programme makers achieved their goals.