The Apprentice Review: Selling in Somerset.

You would be mistaken.

 

Compared to the tasks that the candidates have received, the task that Lord Sugar set them this week - to pick a number of products and sell them at the Royal Bath and West Show - seemed simple in comparison, the twist being that the candidates had to decide whether to go with the cheaper products and sell in bulk or risk the more expensive products. Tenacity chose Felipe to be project manager - a nice guy with little-to-no leadership skills - while Summit chose James - a petulant child who has somehow made it to this stage without 1.) being fired and 2.) anyone strangling him.

 

So the teams headed to Somerset - strategising and thinking about themselves along the way - where they were split up and taken to the places where the debut products were located. Essentials including a gutter-cleaning robot, a weird hanging chair thing, and a hot tub. (Actually I concur. That last one IS essential because hot tubs are awesome. I say this as someone who wants one but can’t afford it).

 

James demonstrated just what a great team leader he was when he listened to his team’s recommendations as to what products to flog… and then went with the complete opposite of what they suggested. Sure we’ve all done that when our friends give us advice but this is different - money is involved for starters. Of course he had to do a quick turn-around when he lost a pitch (more on that in a minute) and a last-minute decision to sell lawnmowers instead of hot tubs left most of his team confused, considering they didn’t have all the information at hand, and leaving Roisin with a moral dilemma - whether to speak up and tell the truth or keep schtum for the sake of morale. For the remainder of the task at least, she chose the latter but even James must have seen that she wasn’t happy. Or am I expecting too much of him?

 

Tenacity’s main problem meanwhile was with ‘bestest salesman evah’ Daniel struggling to sell even himself as the city kid became too pushy with a couple of market traders. New drinking game: rewatch that scene on iPlayer and down a drink every time Daniel mentions ‘passion’. A thousand points to you if you manage not to pass out. The best thing was that Daniel couldn’t even see what he’d done wrong until Katie pointed it out to him. This is the country. Small talk and gently asking makes a difference here.

 

 

Both teams located the hot tub salesman and gave him their best pitch. Both were pretty confident about their pitch but ultimately Tenacity managed to secure the hot tubs mainly because James got the salesman’s name wrong. Where did this show get him from and who do we have to pay to send him back there? I genuinely thought for a moment that the hot tub salesman wouldn’t go with either team but finally he gave the yes to Tenacity, leaving Katie and Daniel jumping for joy in a rare cute moment. Hence the James selling lawnmowers/Roisin’s moral dilemma thing.

 

Tenacity’s joy didn’t last long however when Mark bullied himself into selling the hot tubs with Katie and Felipe let him because… he really doesn’t like Daniel? OK so Daniel can be annoying (understatement) but in this case, he had secured the hot tub and had all the information at hand. For the rest of the task, Felipe and Daniel were arguing on the handbag stall, scaring away customers. Never has the phrase ‘handbag at dawns’ been more appropriate.

 

Bianca, Solomon, and Sanjay were tasked with selling foldable wellies and those weird hanging chair things which surprisingly nobody wanted. The wellies were expensive as well, especially for Somerset, which could be why they didn’t shift as well as the team were hoping. James and Roisin meanwhile were selling lawnmowers in a game of ‘Spot the Better Salesperson’. Here’s a clue: Roisin was calm, confident, natural. James was looking at his notes and mumbling. How did he make it this far?

 

 

In the meantime, Daniel went full tantrum and started demanding to sell hot tubs. He went off at Mark over the phone, so much so that Mark hung up on him -- something he shouldn’t be blamed for. If I were project manager, Daniel would have been fired from the task for his immature behaviour. Although he probably wouldn’t have moved an inch from that stall anyway. A screaming toddler at a fair has more maturity than that man.

 

The day finally ended and presumably after a night in a swanky hotel in Bath (they were told to bring overnight bags), it was back in London the next day and The Boardroom. I know some viewers think that this segment takes up too much time but I personally love seeing the candidates sweat and argue with each other while Lord Sugar judges them and makes clever remarks.

 

Tenacity managed to do OK in the boardroom this week, there was a bit of concern from Lord Sugar about Daniel who was apparently never told that there is no ‘I’ in ‘Team’ and a bit of scrutiny over Felipe’s decision-making skills, they came through without too much psychological trauma. Which is always a good thing, in case you were wondering.

 

James meanwhile was exposed trying to repeat his hot tub lie to Lord Sugar when Roisin finally had enough and told him to tell the truth. The other team members weren’t all that shocked to be fair, but they were still angry with him - and rightfully so. Sanjay also came under a bit of fire for not doing much the entire task, with Nick telling him later on that he didn’t feature on his notes. Since Sanjay hasn’t featured much in this review either, I’m guessing Nick wasn’t making it up.

 

In the end, to the surprise of absolutely no one, Team Sulking Salesman Tenacity came away with over £30,000 profit, winning the task by a large margin, mostly down to Mark and Katie’s awesome work and the county of Somerset realising that hot tubs are awesome, to the extent that one guy bought 7 of the stuff! He must be loaded! The team were sent to a boxing ring to hit their aggressions out, much needed after Daniel being a pain throughout most of the task.

 

Both teams left the boardroom, with Lord Sugar telling Roisin he wanted to hear from her, perhaps sensing that she was unhappy and needed a platform to speak. And when he summoned the losing team back, he didn’t waste time, asking Roisin to give her opinion straight away. She did not hold back. In possibly one of the most delicious moments of the series so far, she detailed just what James is like to work with - not only on this task but across the series. Summary: patronising, bossy, doesn’t listen. Surprisingly Lord Sugar had a lot of sympathy with James and rounded on Sanjay for not doing much. Seemed more of a move to create a bit of tension since it was obvious who should have been fired. James played along and kept Sanjay and Roisin with him in the boardroom, the former for not selling, and the latter because she was really really mean to him.

 

 

James gave this impassioned speech of how he’s this child playing it big in the city world, needing someone to take him under his wing and guide him. Paraphrased obviously but that was the extent of the speech. Roisin at least was convincing, telling Lord Sugar that she’s a qualified accountant, creative, using examples to back her claims up etc. Don’t think anyone was doubting she’d be fired in a second. Sanjay seemed more shocked to be there than anything else but he didn’t contribute much so what was he expecting?

 

 

Anyway, despite some encouraging words from Lord Sugar, in the end James was fired, and spent his taxi ride reciting song lyrics because there was a karaoke night over in Soho and he couldn’t be late. Or he’s going to try out for the X Factor next year. Both are equally as plausible.

 

With the exception of Daniel, the candidates that are left in the process actually seem competent at business (although the finest business people of the highest calibre, they are not) so I’m expecting things to get interesting now as we head towards the final. Some are obviously more likely to get to the final than others but now that the dead wood and (most of) the sulkers have gone, the competition might get interesting and, dare I say, more professional. I even managed to write that without laughing so here’s hoping!